Set apart this dream.

Last week while I was at home I was going through some of my stuff and came across my journal from 2003-2006. As I read through the pages I was hit with the realization of how much I've changed, not all of it being in the way that I hoped. From the ages of 13-16, I had eyes for only God. I spent hours by myself laying on the church floor praying and listening to music hoping to catch an even greater glimpse of the God I was so incredibally in love with. I was whole, I knew who I was, I was confident, I was focused and more importantly I knew my worth. As I grew older and entered into a relationship, that seemed to change. I wasn't treated right and I didnt do anything about it till much later because I didn't know how to stand up for myself. Through disappointment, after disappointment I began to think that thats just how things are...this is what I'm worth. There has always been that small hope that says "There is something better, Your worth so much more than this, so much more than you can imagine". But lifes storms and let downs just didn't line up with that hope. So I gradually began to believe the lie that satan was feeding me.
It's almost been a year that i've been single, and I'm still dealing with the ramifications of my worth being worn down over a long period of time. So many people tell me "you have to look at what the Lord says about you"..and I know thats true, but it's not that easy. It's formed into a habit to think this way. Everytime I go with my sister to try on engagement rings, this thought always crosses my mind "Will there ever be a guy that will think I'm worth buying this for?" and No, It has nothing to do with material possessions.
It's takin me a while to actually admit that I struggle in this area, but i've heard that the first step to recovery is admitting that I have a problem. so here it is.
Lord I need your help, please break past the lies that i've bought into about who I am and what I'm worth. I know that you see me as a rare diamond that is to be treasured, and that someday 'Mr right' will see that too. In the meantime, I choose to be defined by what You say, not by my past experiences or words that have been spoken, but by Your Truth.

"Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows" - Luke 12:7