Sunday, September 27, 2009

OK GO!

One thing that I absolutely love is when God confirms something that has been on my heart. Something that He has obviously planted there.
Yes! Thank you!

Friday, September 25, 2009



It's been too long for me to even remember the last time I walked down this road.

I dont know what to do, how to act, what to say or anything really.

Feels like I am in a car that is racing out of control, and there is no steering wheel.

I can't do this on my own, God please be my guide.

Monday, September 21, 2009

More then enough

John 14:8 says: "Philip said, "Lord show us the Father, and that will be enough for us"
The song Healer by Kari Jobe says: "I believe your more than enough for me"

If I need provision-God is enough for me
If I need comfort- God is enough for me
If I need direction- God is enough for me.
If I'm lonely-God is enough for me
If I'm struggling- God is enough for me
If I am hurting- God is enough for me
Even When things are going good- God is enough for me.
In everything we go through, our everyday situations, God is enough for Us.

Friday, September 18, 2009

it was all yellow..

I realized that the person I've been missing no longer exists.
I don't know who that person in the picture is.
The memories, both good and bad have faded.
Seems like it was a whole different world.
So long, stranger.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

:D

I am truly incredibly blessed.
The people that God has placed in my life are so amazing.
They have impacted me , challeged me, encouraged me,
come along side me, and pretty much anything else amazing friends do!
Wait, their not just friends they are Family.
Then there is my Jesus!
He has already continued to work in me amazingly, and He's just continuing to blow my mind!
I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point in my life, and I am so excited about what this year holds.
"I want to be like a tree, planted by the stream of living water"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I really am GOOD!

Everyday people ask me how I am doing, and I usually respond with a firm, and smile filled "Good!". But sometimes I get the feeling that not everyone believes thats how I am really feeling. I get this vibe that they think I should be a mess, that I should still be hurting, and that because I don't portray that I must be in some kind of denial. I guess I can see where they are coming from if you look at it through the natural eye. Or maybe they can relate to having a similar situation go on in their lives and they themselves still haven't dealt with it, even after many months. But everyones different, we deal with situations and emotions differently.
All I can say is that God did a MAJOR work in my heart this summer, because I let Him. I gave Him free reign, to remove, uproot, plant, prune, break, make and mold everything within my heart, soul, mind and my very being. It sucked sometimes, it hurt, it made me uncomfortable, it stretched me, and it humbled me. But Through it God made me trust him, surrender, and learn to find myself, my everything in Him. One of the biggest things He did in me was give me the grace to Forgive, over and over. Somedays this was the last thing I wanted to do, but when you hold bitterness and unforgiveness against people, it hinders yourself, not the other people.
From the beginning I decided that I wouldn't hold onto any grudges, hurts or bitterness, all of that I learned to surrender.
One of the big lessons that I learned this summer was that God will move powerfully within us and through us if we allow Him; trusting and knowing that He only has good in store for us. Ultimately that is why I can stand before you and tell you that "I am Good", and the reason I can talk about my summer and not have pain and hurts fill my heart.
I'm not saying that I've completed this process, cause I know I still have lots to learn. Im just saying that God is amazing, He is all powerful, and His ways aren't our ways, and for that I am incredibly thankful.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Fall


Well September is already 6 days upon me, and within those six days a lot has gone on.
It's been a week of going through a whole new process. Old memories, Old hurts, Old situations that I'd rather not recall, continued to fill my mind. I think that when something so huge ends in your life God likes to deal with every part of it, thus bringing up memories, allowing me to continue to forgive and let go. Don't get me wrong, I am definetly not hanging on, which is probably why this process has gone pretty smooth and rather fast.
I have received so much encouragement from the people here. I can't even count the amount of times I have been told that 1. I look so different 2. I have more joy then last year 3.I seem so free. It's not my best friends sayin these things either, it's people who I didn't get a chance to know till this past week. These words have confirmed so much in me, and encouraged me immensly.
I've also struggled this week with why I am here, and what am I goin to do with what I am learning here. Ive noticed that that becomes a lot more important when a large amount of money is involved. Money. I have zero dollars for next semester.
Finances is something I have never had to worry about till now. But even now I know that God has brought me here for a reason, and it's not to see me drop out because of something so stupid as money.
This summer has been about Trusting God, and this school year is goin to continue that theme. It's goin to be tough, trying, testing, but it's going to increase my faith and dependence on the 1 true God. Therefore I look forward, not with dread, but eager expectation of what God is going to do.
This year at is going to be amazing, and thats probably an understatement.