Maybe all I know is in your arms, your eyes.

3 weeks ago I turned 22. As I look back on my life, I know that I never dreamt that I would be here. Here.... spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I've realized that the dreams and hopes I have for myself are incredibly small compared to the dreams and plans that God has for me. This journey called life is incredible. Most recently God's been trimming the un-needed, un-helpful and hindering branches in my heart. Theres so many things I have held tightly to because I feared they were the best I could possibly attain. I've been reading a leadership book that deals with the "dark side" of our lives and through it God has shown me how I've lived my life around my insecurities.  On innumerable occasions I have hoped that no one would notice how much I struggle to believe in myself and my giftings, or how I fear that they will, and because of that they will value me less.  I often struggle with feeling mediocre, especially in the area that I'm passionate about: music. I can't play anything exceptionally well, I can barely harmonize, it's hard for me to write songs, and I don't know much about the basic principles.

So what?


What about those statements makes me any less of an amazing person? What about those statements makes me any less of a daughter of the King? What about those statements makes me any less of a world changer? It doesn't change who I am, it just shows that I have room to grow. 


I don't care that I'm not as good at music as so-and so.
I don't care that I'll make mistakes, and not always know the seemingly simple answers.
I don't care that I might not meet so-and-sos standards.

I'm done living like I have to prove who I am. I'm done living like people's opinions & expectations matter. I'm done living my life based on insecurity and fear. I'm done thinking whats before me is as good as it gets.

Just because i'm 22 doesn't mean time is running out. I have so much life to live, so much road to travel, so many people to meet, and so much room to grow into the person, musician, daughter, friend, and leader that God has called me to be.

It's never to late to be free.

 

“..AND RESERVED ARE THE DEPTHS OF MY HEART,

 

ONLY FOR YOU”

Even heroes have the right to dream…

I’d like to remind you that God is completely and unbelievably faithful! This summer I had a number of opportunities for work that varied in task and length. The first was a job at my school working in the library - the pro to this job was that it guaranteed me a job in the fall. The other option was to do an internship at a church. After much debate and prayer I took a risk and jumped into the church internship. I decided to put to death my selfish need for stability once again and leap. So here I am walking down the path that God has for me and once again he has proved that He really does look after all our needs, even the ones we don’t really ask for. I never asked for a job in the fall, I knew it was something that I would like but I never sought it out or really prayed about it and out of nowhere I get a job dropped in my lap, one that is absolutely and completely perfect for me! God knows the ins and outs of your lives, he knows our deepest desires and what we truly desire in life. Even better than that he knows what is best and he is always faithful to reveal that.

God is so faithful in the small things, and I can rest knowing that He is faithful in the big things too!