Goodbye July

This month has been filled with family and friends, and of course Jesus :)

I have learnt a lot about myself and my Saviour.

It's been a time of drawing close to His heart and

allowing his heartbeat to become mine.

Theres been ups and downs, good times and bad times

but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Goodbye July, - Hello August,

time goes by so fast...

It's been 3 months since this moment in Thailand.

Crazy how time flys!

Next trip please?

God please wash away the fears.

God please wash away the worries.

Fill me with hope.

Fill me with confidence

Fill me with You.

I choose to forgive.

I've learned a lot about forgiveness lately. I`ve come to realize that it means a lot more and it goes a lot deeper into the spiritual realms then we think.
There are many people I know who are living in unforgiveness even toward people who they don`t actually know. Does their unforgiveness affect that person? It does to a certain extent but in reality it is affecting themselves way more. Bring up that person to them and their tone changes, or they don't even want to talk about it. This isn't right nor is it healthy.

I don't know if we can really understand the power of forgivness until we are faced with situations and people that hurt us. It's easy to hang onto the wounded feelings or the "how could they do that to me?", "I can't let them get away with this" attitude. Entertaining these thoughts and allowing them to take root in our spirits is where bitterness and anger begin to creep in.
Sure we can justify our actions and make ourselves comfortable with our attitudes but on the day that the Lord returns we're going to have to give account for every wrong attitude, motive and judgement. There's not going to be anyone to blame but ourselves. Therefore we must, we must, we must, make sure that our hearts are right before God right now, no matter what so and so has done, or what they have said. God is concerned about you, and your relationship with Him, He will take care of the ones who have done you wrong.

Let's look at how Jesus dealt with this.
He was beaten, spit on, totally humiliated, rejected, falsely charged, and the very people he loved and came to the earth to die for CRUCIFIED HIM! If anyone in this world had the right to be offended, and angry it was Jesus. Instead he said:

"Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing"

-Luke 23:34

Wow. what an amazing example He has set for us today. What would it have accomplished if he had lashed out at them, or called them names, or defended himself. Absolutely nothing. It would have only hindered Him and His mission.

There have been a lot of memories flowing through my mind the last couple weeks, most of them being painful to recall. I haven't necessarily dealt with them in the right way until recently. God spoke to me and challenged me that everytime a hurtful moment comes to mind, I need say "I forgive that person for doing (whatever it was) to me". In hebrew/greek translations forgiveness means to "send away, or release". This is so true, I've come to realize that each time I say I forgive, the pain, anger and disappointment from that situation is released and gone, never to return again. I also feel that I have released the people as well.

It's seriously transformed my emotions and literally my life!.

Unforgiveness and all that comes with it binds us, and stops us from being able to move forward in every area of our lives. It's really not worth it.

I know that it isn't easy and I definetly don't have it all figured out, but I'd encourage you to allow God to search your heart and if need be reveal people and situations where you are harboring unforgiveness, and deal with it right away. Then watch how God moves in your life!

Theres so much more that could be said on this topic, but I'll end with a verse that puts it all into perspective.

"If you forgive men when they sin against you,

your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive men their sins,

your Father will not forgive your sins."

-Matt 6:14,15

Keep Looking forward.

Tonight I was reading "The Divine Mentor" by Wayne Cordeiro, and God really spoke to me through it.
Here is an excerpt from a journal entry that he wrote:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19

"Polishing trophies and pondering mistakes can both rob me of my future. Although accolades are nice, I must, as Paul instructs, forget what lies behind and press forward to what lies ahead. It's in what's ahead that potential is found, promise is discovered, hope is uncovered, expectations are released, and vision is fashioned.

Only when I begin to look forward will I see the roadways in the wilderness and the rivers in the desert. Pondering the past will leave me blind. Rehearsing my hurts or licking my wounds will also steal my tomorrows. I will grab the lessons, thank "Consequences" for its brutal but effective teaching method, and then move forward to better my future. As C.S Lewis said "When you keep your face toward the sun, the shadows will always fall behind you.""

Thank you Lord for speaking to me today, this is exactly what I needed to hear.

Yet I Will Praise You.

In my devotions lately I have been reading about Job, specifically Chap. 1: 13-22. Those verses tell of Job's family, and livestock being totally eliminated. Not only was his closest loved ones killed but he also lost all his lively hood.
How would you feel if you lost your family and your job?
I would probably be very angry with God, and wouldn't want to continue serving Him. I would be asking questions like "God how could you let this happen, I have served you faithfully, how did I deserve this?"
For those of you that know Job's story you know that he didn't react that way at all. In fact he reacted in a manner totally opposite of how most of us would feel like reacting.
He fell to the ground and worshipped Jesus, the one who gave and the one who took away.

Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

Wow, what an amazing example he sets for us today.
I've been through alot of "storms" this past year and especially in the last couple weeks, but nothing compared to what Job had to go through. I've come to realize that none of the things we face in life are big enough reason to not Praise God through them. It makes such a difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us how we react to trials.
I'd encourage all that are reading this to Trust that God knows what is going on in your life, and his plans and his purposes will prevail no matter how hopeless you feel or how big the situation seems. God has a plan, He Is in control. You can put full hope in Him, remembering His character and how he loves each and every one of us.
I recently bought the new Hillsong Cd and one of the songs on it is called "Desert Song".
It goes along quite well with this theme, so I'll end with the lyrics:

Verse 1:

This is my prayer in the desert

And all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in the hunger in me

My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith provedOf more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:

And I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:

And this is my prayer in the battle

And triumph is still on it's way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:

All of my life

In every seasonYou are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

Verse 4

This is my prayer in the harvest

When favor and providence flow

I know I'm filled to be emptied again

The seed I've recieved I will sow

Amen.

You are Good

The Lord never ceases to amaze me.

I was sitting at my computer after work wasting time playing some game, when I began to listen to the lyrics of the song that was blasting from my speakers. The chorus goes:

"Spending time with you. Not a moment goes by. That you're not by my side. Spending time with you. You're all that I want. Why's it so hard to do."

At first I thought they were just talking about a boyfriend/girlfriend situation but then the Lord spoke directly to me through them that I needed to get off my comp and spend some time with him. It just so happened that I had allowed my self to start entertaining ridiculous thoughts about my current single status I've never been one to indulge in self pity, but I thought "hey why not for one night". Ironically this morning my devotion was about setting our minds on things above and not focusing on ourselves or things that the world deems important.

God quickly reminded me of what I had read this morning and so I logged off and began journaling. Stirred by a blog my friend wrote a couple days ago I began to make a list of all the reasons why Jesus is the Love of my Life, and it didn't take me long for me to fill the page.

But something happened that I really wasn't expecting. While i began to think of #14, the song "You are Good" by Kari Jobe came on and as i pondered my next reason, God began to dig deep inside of me and rip out hurts and feelings that I hadn't yet released.

I began to cry the most gut wrenching cry I have ever heard in my entire life, a cry that I'm glad only God heard.

It's not fun having wounds resurface, but i'm glad that God was there to bring it up and replace the lies with His truths.

When I was finally able to breathe again I realized a burden had been lifted that I didn't even know was weighing me down.

Thank You Jesus that you love me too much to leave me the way that I am.

I encourage you all to spend time with God, listen to what He is saying to you, perhaps in the song that you are listening to or the thoughts that have been going through your head.

He only has good for us, and no matter how much it migh hurt sometimes, it's worth every second. I can't even begin to fully explain how I feel right now, all I know is that God is good and I forever stand in amazement at what He has done and what He is continuing to do in me.

Thank you Lord :)

Thinking out loud

I recently read Proverbs 4, and a few verses stuck out to me and won't leave my mind.

Lets start at verses 5-7

"Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding"

I've been thinking a lot about wisdom lately, and it just so happens that I have been reading about it a lot in the bible. From what I understand God thinks wisdom and understanding are of utmost importance.But what does it mean to be wise? What does it mean to have understanding?

A non-believer once told me that I am wise beyond my years, somedays I agree but other days not so much. The dictionary describes wisdom as knowledge of what is true joined with judgement between what is right and wrong. Hmm. I think i understand that. But for some reason I am finding it hard to process this and make whats in my heart compute with my brain.

God Grant me wisdom and understanding, not for my own gain, but that I can help others and further your kingdom.

The next verse that has me thinking is vs. 23

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"

What exactly does guarding my heart look like? I don't think it's about putting up walls and being closed off to people, and I know its much deeper then I can comprehend.

As I have entered into a new season in my life I have come to realize that I haven't guarded my heart very well. We all know that physically our heart is one of the main organs that keeps us alive, well the same is true spiritually. When our hearts are heavy and burdened the rest of us is as well. In the bible it says "from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" Its easy to tell where some peoples hearts are at by the way they speak. It is our lifes wellspring. That really puts it into perspective. I need to guard my heart from becoming bitter and hardened because of past issues. I am a person that trusts people easily, and sometimes I give my heart away to quickly, which usually leads to getting hurt.

I really do have lots to learn.

God teach me how to guard my heart, and in the meantime please protect it.

**This entry is kind of all over the place, im still trying to sort all this out, if you have anything youd like to add feel free!