caught in your infinite embrace..

I feel as though I am on the brink of something new, fresh, and exciting. Tomorrow is June and in one week I turn 22 and begin my summer internship. It’s the start of a new chapter, the chance to go farther, reach higher and dream bigger.  I’m eagerly anticipating what is to come and I feel that now more than ever I am prepared to face the challenges, struggles, failures and successes that are inevitable. This next year of my life is HUGE and going to contain lots of changes and major decisions that will, I'm sure, take wisdom beyond my years to make.  The mystery of it excites every part of me and I am completely open for whatever God wants to do in and through me. It’s not going to look like anything I could dream up for myself, and it will definitely far exceed any of my expectations!

 God is good beyond measure,  more powerful than I can fathom, and the plans He has for his children are wild, GIGANTIC and immeasurably more than we could ever imagine. 

Life is unbelievably exciting when you serve Jesus Christ!

the fight for freedom..

STOP. BELIEVING. THE. LIES.

The lie that you don’t fit in. The lie that your past defines your future. The lie that that’s just the way it is. The lie that this is as good as it gets. The lie that you are fat. The lie that you are worthless. The lie that you will be alone forever. The lie that you aren’t loved. The lie that you are invisible. The lie that you will never achieve anything. The lie that you marriage will end in divorce because your parents did. The lie that you aren’t talented. The lie that your heart will never heal. The lie that your dreams are too big. The lie that every guy is a heartbreaker. The lie that love doesn’t actually exist. The lie that there is no hope. The lie that you aren’t beautiful or handsome. The lie that you aren’t man/woman enough. The lie that you don’t have a purpose. The lie that being you isn’t good enough.

..none of these are true.

Stop living your life and making decisions based on lies.

Reveal your truth Lord – shut the mouths of Satan and his team of liars and set your children free.

Awake my soul and sing..

Today as I went for a jog I began to think about all the clutter in my head- so many unanswered questions, aimless thoughts, wishful scenarios, dreams, and worries. It’s so easy to get caught up, blinded, and paralyzed by all the distractions that are thrown our way. It’s like I’m at a fork in the road, I am both burdened but free, discouraged but encouraged, scared but excited. Today I listened to a sermon about dreaming  and was suddenly made aware of the fact that I haven’t been doing much of it lately. Instead I’ve been weighed down with the “why nots”, “but what ifs” "why not mes” and “whens”. I don’t want to become someone who loses sight of where God is taking them, and forget about where he has already brought them. I don’t want to become someone who crushes the dreams of future generations just because I was impatient and gave up hope. I don’t want to become someone who dreams and never lives it out. I don’t want to become someone who doesn’t persevere.

I will not stop dreaming just because they seem out of reach. I will not stop moving forward just because my past tries to hold me in the same spot. I will not let disappointment keep me from being excited about what is ahead. I will not let rejection keep me from loving even though Satan would enjoy it if i did. I will not be taken out by voices who tell me I can’t do it. I will not let distractions slow me down. I will not let unanswered questions and worries stop me from forging ahead as a forerunner to the next generation. I will not let what has been, keep me from living with expectation for what will be.

I will not let anything hold me back from becoming all that God has me to be.

I will dream as big as my mind can possibly dream, even if it means dreaming alone. I will run when God says run, I will walk when God says walk, I will fight when God says fight, I will speak when God says speak,  and I will wait when God says wait. I will live and die for God, and God alone.

 

Surprise me.

We need time, only time.

Have you ever had a feeling that, for the life of you, you cant get it to release it’s tight grip on your heart?  It’s in these times where I find it hard to discern whether it’s just me and my crazy mind or something more. Being the dreamer that I am, I’d love to believe its something more, but the realistic part of me (which is a much smaller part) tends to lean towards it being a fantasy, something that needs to be put to rest. In the place where I am in life, and with the people God has surrounded me with, I feel free to dream as big as I possibly can, but tonight a question crossed my mind  – do my dreams line up with God’s? and if they don’t am I willing to lay them down? That’s a tough question.

More than anything I want my dreams to line up with that of my Heavenly Father’s.

Lord I pray that you would sift me and remove all dreams, feelings and thoughts that are contrary to the plans you have for me. May I walk in full obedience to what you have placed before me and may I never forget that You know what’s best for me.

The perspective bus.

For those of you who don't know I have been on tour for the past 2 weeks. It has been a time of uncontrollable laughter, strengthened friendships, stretching and many learned lessons.  The days, states and towns have begun to run into each other to create a blur that makes it hard to remember where we were when. One of the biggest lessons I have learned so far is what it really means to make the most of every opportunity. 

We were in East Helena, Montana performing at a youth group that was full of unchurched & at risk teens. They didn't really seem too keen on worship or any of our performance aspects really. This night also happened to be my turn to speak. I talked to the group about the 2 paths that we have in life: ourselves, or Jesus, life or death. We opened up for a time of ministry and within minutes my heart was completely broken. The girls were coming up and asking for prayer for broken families, for protection from their dad, and other major issues. I was quickly reminded of how much of a blessed life I live, and my heart hurt for these girls who knew nothing of the love of a earthly father, let alone a heavenly father. The other team members reported of other prayer requests that broke us even more. The majority of the kids who attend there are bused in from their houses, so a few of us got the privilege of riding the bus back home with them. I sat with this beautiful girl named Amber. She hadn't previously shared her struggles with anyone, but there she sat in my arms a complete mess, pouring out her heart along with all its hurts. It struck me in that moment that I had approximately 15 minutes to sow something into her life. A 15 minute window is nothing compared to the rest of her life, but I knew that I had to make it count somehow. I talked to her about Jesus, encouraged her to continue to attend that church where she would find love and healing and then I just sat and listened as she shared about her plans that night. 

As I watched her walk off the bus, I felt so hopeless and discouraged thinking there was more I could've done, it was after all her eternity on the line.  But as we debriefed after, I was reminded that I am just a seed planter, or perhaps even a garden waterer, but ultimately it is God's job to cause those seeds to grow.

Later that week as I journaled God spoke to me and reminded me that as I held her sobbing body, he was holding her through me. 

We are all instruments in the hands of an Almighty God. Every moment counts, every person we meet is a divine appointment - an open window that we have been given to plant a seed.  It will look different every time, but know that God is behind each one. Time is short, and we can't risk missing the chance to love someone, say hi, smile, or ask how they are doing. 

Every second counts friends and even now as I type this I feel the urgency of this message.

Go: Stand with broken

       Compel people to love 

       Care for the helpless

       Hold the hurting

       Feed the hungry

       See the sad smile

       Offer hope to the hopeless

      Make the most of every opportunity to be the hands, feet and mouth of Jesus in a lost, broken, hurting and dying world.