God, redeem me.

This home is full of painful dead memories.

God please take every one and replace it with something new.

looking back...

When I look back on this summer, I am amazed and I don't know if I can even begin to put it all into words. This summer has been unreal. Where do I even begin?

I'll try starting here.

This summer has been emotionally painful.

I've had to learn to let go and allow God to have His way in me, which isn't always a fun process.

I also had to let go of "what was". I had this stupid hope that some friendships might possibly remain the same, but after much hurt I had to let go of that too.

I have been and probably still am very misunderstood. My flesh has fought hard against Gods spirit in me, but in the end God wins, and I know that He will justify me. I dont need to defend myself, God knows, and well ive also learned the hard way that in the end only His opinion matters. He knows everything, and therefore He is the only one that has the right to judge me.

This summer has brought me incredible healing.

I never knew how hurt I was until Gods light shone upon my heart and spirit, especially in areas that I hadn't necessarily surrendered to Him. It's so amazing when God shows us how much we need Him, then so quickly fills us, and offers us His love and grace. God has revealed to me over and over in the last 4 months about the beauty of Grace. man its amazing!

God also brought me closure to certain areas in my life, not in ways I expected, but His closure allows healing to begin and thats been quite the process. God has also given me amazing friends who have encouraged me and prayed for me. There are so many ways I have recieved healing, probably one of the best ways it's come is just in my quiet times alone with God. :)

This Summer has built my faith.

There was a lot of things I feared heading into this summer, and surprisingly enough, not one of them even came to fruition. God has come through for me so incredibly! I got a job right when I got home, God opened doors for me to play guitar with incredible people, and when I spent time with Him, he never failed to reveal Himself to me. I also got asked to be a Lifegroup leader at school this year, and that gave me that boost of hope I needed to believe in myself and know that with Gods help I can do it.

Theres so many other things, I could go on forever! But this is getting long, and Im not one to usually write or read long blogs! haha.

Bottom line, This summer has been the best summer of my entire life. At times it has sucked and been hard, but now as I look back I can see the fingerprint of God on it all. I am so thankful that God loved me and continues to love me too much to leave me the way I am, and for that I owe Him my life.

&gb

I hate saying goodbye.

lyrics speak my thoughts.

Where are the people that accused me?

The ones who beat me down and bruised me

They hide just out of sight

Can't face me in the light

They'll return but I'll be stronger

God, I want to dream again

Take me where I've never been

I want to go there

This time I'm not scared

Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable

No one can touch me

Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going

But faith is moving without knowing

Can I trust what I can't see

To reach my destiny

I want to take control

but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch

That tries to hold you back

And turn your dreams to dust

All you need to do is just trust

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

-Unbreakable, Fireflight

How He Loves

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane,

I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

We are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way…

The Way He Loves Us

"Oh Lord, forgive what I have been, sanctify what I am, and order what I shall be"

- Thomas Wilson

Future's wide open :)

I look forward to the future.

I look forward to what God is doing and what he is going to do.

I feel like the another chapter of my life has closed and I have

entered into a new season.

A season of greater faith, bigger steps of faith, increased measure of Gods presence, a greater annointing, and a greater release of His supernatural power.

I'm ready to continue learning, and experiencing all that God has for me.

I have no clue what that all entails, but I know that it will be good, hard and stretching but good.

I know that God has placed a high calling on my life, and I am finally at a place where I can fully focus on pursuing all that God has planned.

I have no clue where I am going, or how I am going to get there,

But I guess that's where walking by faith comes into play.

"My whole life is yours, I give it all, surrender to your name, and forever I will pray: Have your way! Have your way!"

still holding on...

Why am I still holding on?

Why, when I look back do I wish that some things had never changed?

Why do i so quickly forget the bad times, the painful times?

Maybe because my flesh was more comfortable there,

I guess it's easier to compromise then risk having enemies.

I can't change what happened, I can't change the fact that i've been misunderstood, nor can I change the words that have been spoken.

I've never regretted anything, but somedays I wish I could have my cake and eat it too.

But I can't, and I think that's a good thing.

My life's become a waiting game. Waiting on God, to do what, Im not exactly sure.

But I know that as I patiently wait, He will reveal, the pieces that are still missing.

One day I will see, why I've had to travel the path I have.

Until then, I wait, seek and worship, and live.

I realize this entry can be taken many ways, and I guess I'm ok with that.

God knows exactly what I am meaning, and I've come to realize, only his opinion matters anyways

-Jess

lyrics & verses.

This is what God has been speaking to me lately, pretty self explanitory:

"I know that you are for me

I know that you are for me

I know that you will never,

forsake me in my weakness

I know that you have come now

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who you are"

-"You are for me", Kari Jobe.

"If God is for me,

Who can be against me?

-Rom 8:31

Amen. :)