a time to remember and a time to forget

On March 3rd I wrote:

"I don't know what the future holds, I don't even know what tomorrow holds.

But I know that Jesus holds me in His hands, and He won't let me fall"

On June 1st I wrote:

" I spent the last month in Thailand, with an awesome group from my school. Before I left I had to make a decision that changed my life in an instant. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, one that never want to have to make again. But I know that God has a plan and the end will justify the pain it took to get me there"

As I look back on my blogs from over the past 6 months I am utterly amazed at the journey that God has taken me on. I never in a million years dreamt i'd be here both physically, spiritually and mentally. 2 words sum it up: Complete Transformation.

Im not who I was 6 months ago, I'm not even the person I was 3 months ago.

As I submit my life to God he daily continues to mold and shape me into who He originally planned for me to be.

It's been such a beautiful process, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, from death to life.

God I owe everything I am to you. Thank You for showing me grace, for redeeming my past, and for giving me a hope and a future founded fully on You.

I also want to thank my family and friends, who continually support, encourage and pray for me. I truly am blessed by each of you. I love you guys so much!

"You are my freedom, Jesus your the reason I'm kneeling again at your throne.

Where would I be without you here in my life?"

Thank You Jesus!

The Perfect Place.

All my hope is in you, everything I am is resting on the fact that You God are faithful.

and I know that you won't let me fall.

but why am i still worrying? why am i still scared?

God teach me to trust you, fully.

This Is Home

My life at present is filled with questions and pending decisions:

Do I apply for graduation?

Do I stay for another 2 years?

Where am I gettin money for next semster, let alone another 2 years?

Do I go on the 3 week or the 6 week tour?

What am I doing with my life?

What exactly is God calling me to do?

Am I putting enough time into peoples lives?

Am I being a good leader?

the list could go on....

But yet while all these questions swirl around me, I am at Peace.

Content, with where my life is at.
Not content as in "safe" or "comfortable"

But content as in, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now.

I see your face in every sunrise...

Today was a day that I have been anticipating for the past week and a half.

We had all worship chapel this week, and it was more amazing then I had thought it could be!

God has gifted everyone here in an amazing way, and its so cool to see all those gifts come together for one purpose, to worship Jesus!

From worship to a testimonie to rapping to a drime, it all came together so beautifully and powerfully.

I was part of the Everything (Lifehouse) drime that we did. I was the lead character. I've seen the skit numerous times and every time it brings me to tears. So when I was asked I excitedly agreed, not realizing what I was actually getting into.

Not only did it take a huge physical toll on me, it definetly took a spiritual and emotional one as well.

I really wanted to be in character for this, but I have never felt seperated from God, nor have i cut myself, or drank alcohol. So i was asking God to really put this heavy on my heart so that I could bring forth the emotions and expressions that would make it real.

God spoke to me lastnight, and really put it into perspective. I may not know what it's like for myself to be far from God but I do know the pain of my family or friends being far from Him.

This skit was warfare. I fought hard, and I fought for them. For those who are struggling with these issues, those that are too weak to get through the barriers that stand between them and and their Redeemer.

It was hard, it was tough, and i felt the pain that came from the struggle.

But just when I thought i couldnt take anymore, One look from Jesus gave me the strength to get up one more time, only to be thrown down again.

But this time I didn't have to get up.

Jesus stepped in, took my pain upon himself, defeated my enemies, dusted me off and pulled me close.

This is the God I serve.

His hand is extended to you. The fight is hard, but its worth it.

No matter what youve done, His love doesn't change.

His arm's are wide open.

Lord, Can I have more of You?

Hello October

What a way to start off a new month. It's incredible the amount of things that have been happening in my life the past couple days. This past week was the beginning of a new year on the Jewish calendar, Gods calendar, and I feel as though I have definetly entered into a new season, a new year in my life. First let me tell of the amazing provision of Jesus. I have been avoiding checking my bank account for fear of discouragement over the fact that I didn't have enough money to pay the semester off. But after about a month of that I finally decided to check it. Lo and Behold I recieved a random cheque from the company I worked for this summer. Im not sure if it was for vacation pay or what and quite frankly I don't really care! All I know is that put me with enough money to pay my first semester bill!!!! I thank God everyday for the fact that His word and His promises never change.
All week I have been preparing for leading worship today in chapel. It was such an incredible time of worship, and just basking in Jesus' presence and allowing the truths of who He is to soak my heart. Leading up to today, I am still blown away by the support and love and encourgement that those around me have showered me with. It's amazing to be living in a place where people can see your potential, and not only see it but then speak and sow into it. PLBC family, YOU ARE AMAZING! I couldn't imagine my life without each and every one of you.
This month has recieved quite the kickoff, and I already have plans to end it with a bang!
Over and Over God is continuing to reveal Himself to me, and allowing me to go deeper and deeper in my relationship with Him. I can't explain the uncontrollable joy, the hope, faith and trust! God YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!
Today as we finished off chapel, I couldnt stop smiling when I heard this line play in the background:

"All of my life, in every season,

You are still God,

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship"

Amen :)