A faith-stretching journey pretty much sums up my life thus far. Every big decisions that comes my way, stands in front of me and yells “How much do you really trust Jesus?”. It always requires a risk, a step of faith, serious seeking -in order to see the plans unfold. Recently, a plan that I had been basing other plans around fell through. I have no clue where to go, where to start looking, what direction I should take. shouldn’t I be used to this? shouldn’t I have no problem having peace? yeah right.
When I first found out I was like “seriously God, can’t I just get a break, just this once can’t you just give me a clear solid plan?” I see so many people around me whose plans fall almost effortlessly into their laps, and it would seem as though no faith was even required on their part. WHY CAN’T I HAVE THAT JUST ONCE?
I’m pretty sure God laughs at my petty complaints. He doesn’t care that my plan didn’t work out, It doesn’t matter to him where I go this summer, whether I intern or work retail. He cares about my heart, my character, and most importantly that I am prepared for my destiny.
I’m not called to an “easy” life. Everything I do has become a faith test, and as much as it frustrates me some days, I wouldn’t trade it for anything because I’ve learnt how to move without having all the steps figured out. I’ve learnt how to jump when I can’t see what’s at the bottom. You don’t learn those things by having every step planned out in advance.
My life is not my own, and it’s more than ok that I don’t have a plan for this summer, for after grad, or for my entire life. God created my life and I know that He can handle planning it. I trust Him.
“Speak, for your servant is listening” – 1 Sam 3:10
Thanks for the encouraging note. I randomly got onto your blog because of the cool picture you had of a ring on a bible that became a heart. Then, I kept reading because it seemed like you and I weren't so different.. =) My blog is taralovesjesus.tumblr.com. You're more than welcome to check it out.
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