I don’t need a sign, I just need to begin.

I’ve changed. My heart, character, and everything that’s included in that has changed, or been altered. Perhaps it’s because I’ve surrounded myself with people who challenge me, or maybe because I’m reading books that are explaining the scriptures in ways that blow my mind and demand my life to come into alignment with Christ’s or perhaps it’s simply because I am open and willing for the Lord to teach me and deal with me as He pleases. A mix of all the above and more I’m sure.

This semester I am taking a course called Freedom Session that deals with pain, unforgiveness, abuse and many other issues that have happened in people’s lives. I came into the course willing to be open and honest with myself about whatever came up. What I didn’t know was how honest I was going to have to be, and how much I was going to have to deal with. We are only on session 14 and I have already learnt so many new things about my life, both past and present. This past Wednesday night was a point of complete joy in my life. We had a special class to break unholy soul ties between ourselves and others with whom we had either had sexual relations, been abused by or even fantasized about. As I read aloud the prayers to God, I was overjoyed at the realization that the healing that He did in my life almost 2 years ago was real and completely solidified in my heart and spirit. Sometimes I’ve worried that my lack of recall of that relationship has been due to repressed memories but thankfully it has been the pure healing touch of my Saviour, and it’s good!. I can continue to walk into my destiny pure and whole before a holy God.

Something I didn’t expect to come out of that class with was an (even more so) heightened standard for purity, not just in relationships, but in my heart, mind, soul and body. Sex is sacred as is the rest that goes along with it. It’s not ok to watch it on TV/movies, to listen to it degraded in music or to talk about it in a way that distorts or dishonours it. It’s an incredible gift, to be shared between a husband and a wife like a treasured secret. I refuse to let the world tell me that it’s cheap, meaningless or meant to be tried out with many different partners. I won’t let them rob me of the beauty of being able to present myself pure to my future husband.

This week has been one of being challenged on many different levels. I welcome these challenges because they produce in me strong character and deep roots. Lord, I pray that you would continue to mold me into the woman of God that you created me to be. Let me be sensitive to Your spirit and to what You are saying to me. May I never settle for less than Your best for my life