All my life I have suffered with a disease known as “people pleasing”. I based my decisions on what would make those around me happy, and usually giving up my own happiness in the process. I let their thoughts override my own and I lived to meet their expectations instead of God’s alone. I compromised on so many convictions just to keep those around me happy. Why?!. Why didn’t I have a spine?! Why didn’t I fear the Lord instead of man? Why today do I still struggle with this? Why do I fear what people will say? Why do I fear their judgments? Why can’t I stand up for what I believe in amongst fellow believers? why?.
I am a nice person, I forgive easily, I have a soft heart, I care deeply about the people in my life, I don’t want to hurt anyone ,and I want those around me to be happy. These are all great desires and characteristics but there was a time in my life when I thought these were negative. As God began to reveal this to me He also began to show me that these qualities are straight from His heart. The problem was that people had been abusing, taking advantage of and using them for their own selfish gain.
I can’t waste another moment of my life worrying about what others think, or expect of me. God is my judge, and only his expectations are the ones that need to be met. Don’t get me wrong, I am open to correction and If my sister or brother in Christ sees me living outside of Gods plan I would want them to confront me, but don’t confront me about how I didn’t meet your unsaid expectations. That’s not my problem or fault.
I realize this can come across kind of harsh, but I’ve spent too much of my short life living for others and carrying around worry and fear that I’m not meant to. Today is a new day, and I chose to live it for God alone. The fear of not meeting peoples expectations keeps my heart bound, but God’s truth sets it free.
In His freedom I will live.
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