Thursday, December 9, 2010

It can’t be roses all the time.

“I waited patiently for the Lord, He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand” –Ps 40:1,2

There has only been a handful of times in my life, that I can vividly recall feeling like I was in a slimy pit, and was scared I wouldn’t get out. The past week has been one of those times.

A slimy pit of stress, worry, shame, sadness, confusion,exhaustion, and heaviness. It’s been over a year since I’ve cried as hard and as deep as I have in the past few days. It’s been a mess, and hopelessness was knocking hard at my door.

I take times like these extremely serious, because I know that how I deal with them will greatly affect my future. I was faced with 2 choices, give up, or step up.

Giving up seems like a good choice in the moment but I knew that if I stopped fighting the fight that I would be consumed by bitterness, doubt and hurt. Those words don’t line up with who God has created me to be, and they definitely don’t have a place in my future.

So I am choosing to step up, to let God lift me – in His timing – out of the slimy pit. It started with worship. I love to dance, and for the past week it’s been on my heart. So despite how crappy I felt today, I danced. When my feet left the ground a smile crossed my face and I knew that there was no way I was going to let Satan take me out of this race.

No matter how much is going wrong. No matter how much I don’t understand. No matter how burdened I am. No matter how stressed out I am. No matter how many times I’ve failed. I will stand firm, and declare Your goodness and love over every situation I find myself in, even when I have yet to see it. There are some things in life that I don’t need to understand. I just need to trust.

God I know who You are and what You are capable of for you’ve written it upon my heart.

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